It was like an outlying rock with the water boiling up, streaming over, pouring off, beating round like a rock in the surf to which shipwrecked people cling before they let go only it rose, it sank, it rolled continuously, without respite and rest, like a rock that should have miraculously struck adrift from a coast and gone wallowing upon the sea.

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The game was always close to boiling over, and Lukas Podolski went down after an off-the-ball clash with Rene Aufhauser, then went eyeball to eyeball with Emanuel Pogatetz.

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It was he who perfected the kettle thermostat, the bimetallic strip which ensures our kettle switches off once it has boiled merrily for a few seconds, rather than boiling dry.

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