The Jacksons - featuring Tito, Marlon, Jackie, Jermaine, Michael and Randy - found fame in the 1970s with hits such as I Want You Back, ABC and Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground).

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But she's the wrong body shape to get a fair shake from TV producer Velma Von Tussle (Michelle Pfeiffer), and, anyway, as someone cuttingly remarks, "The Corny Collins Show" isn't shot in CinemaScope.

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The idea was to pop the D3200 into manual mode, force the shutter to stay open for 30 to 60 seconds while on a tripod, and use the camera to trigger the shutter as to avoid camera shake from mashing the button on the body itself.

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Of course the governing body of world football, Fifa, whose leader once told us that players should just shake hands and avoid name calling, pays the same lip service to the promised eradication of race-fuelled disagreements, but nothing changes.

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