When one of God's children dies beforehis or her purpose is fulfilled we all grieve the loss, either immediately like we see with parents or loved ones or later when there is a piece of our individual selves that is missing due to that baby not being in the world.
And that he was giving you the on his honest to God recollection when he testified before the grand jury and the FBI, and the fact that he forgot a bunch of things he may have been told by other people doesn't mean that he wasn't telling the truth.