If it's going to be a sunny day and if there's no swing about you need something out of the norm and I'm sure the Australian batsmen wouldn't want to face an on-song Steve Harmison.
What can you say to the Australian people who don't want to wait, who want to leave immediately?
Planet Commonwealth carries Ross Longmuir's streamlined beds, tables, and sofas, all made from Australian hardwoods (don't worry, they'll help with shipping).
And we had a speech to the Australian parliament that you don't want to call on Sunday and say, hey, is there a way we can move this back a day?
The affair, which has inevitably become known as "homeworkgate, " certainly didn't help a struggling Australian side, which crashed to a six-wicket defeat at Mohali even with the first day being entirely wiped out by rain.
Even if your visit extends only as far as Sydney, don't give up on seeing Australian wildlife.
But the Australian rock band Savage Garden didn't have it so easy.
Australian power-walker Claire Tallent won't get to London until August 5 because of her training timetable.
Adelaide officials deny this and say delegates got only a cricket bat signed by Australian great Sir Donald Bradman, boomerangs, T-shirts and keyrings.
In an interview with ESPN magazine Stephens, who stunned Williams by beating her in the Australian Open quarterfinals, claimed Serena hadn't spoken to her since that match in January.
Gut bacteria were found to have a surprising role in disease 20 years ago, when Australian scientists showed that stomach ulcers aren't caused by stress, as long thought, but by chronic infection with the stomach bacterium Helicobacter pylori.
The West Australian newspaper quoted a sacked worker who wouldn't give his name as saying up to 15 people were fired, including some who watched the performance but did not participate.
"He's been sensational for me and I won't work with anyone else in the future if I can't work with him, " said the Australian.
The Liberal MP Sophie Mirabella got sustained applause when she presented the carbon tax as a threat to the Australian way of life: "We don't want to de-industrialise our country, " she bellowed.
What follows is an untraditional love story, in which Lucinda, determined to transport a church made of glass from Britain to the Australian outback, bets Oscar her inheritance that he can't accomplish such a daunting feat.
Mark Werner said he didn't hear the sound, but his dog, an Australian Shepherd mix named Jack, did.
"Tomic's arrival as a significant force couldn't be better timed for the traditional roaming gang of Australian tennis fans, or 'Earls Court posse', without whom Wimbledon would be... well, a lot less Australian, " writes Giles Smith in The Times.
"The great majority of patients won't get a benefit from stents or surgery, " said Australian neurologist Anne L. Abbott, who has led a pushback against high rates of carotid surgery and stents.
"We have always enjoyed great results in Qatar although the track isn't one of my favourites as a rider, " said the Australian.
Lately the Australian dollar has been on a roller coaster, the Japanese yen can't shoot up fast enough and the Mexican peso lost 8 percent of its value in one day.
In 2008, for instance, when the European Union restricted Brazilian meat, alleging breeders weren't complying with EU traceability measures, JBS took advantage of its Australian subsidiary to export to Europe. (Brazilian beef exports to the EU resumed in 2009.) No Brazilian meat producer can export cuts to the U.S. because of U.S. safety rules.
But it doesn't seem to be power, position and money that motivates the former Australian Army captain.
For most Australians, republicanism isn't a burning issue, said John Wanna, an academic at the Australian National University.
Williams had planned to play with Andy Roddick at the Australian Open this year, but Roddick retired with an injury in singles and couldn't play.
WSJ: The Courtship of Serena Williams for Olympic Tennis Gold
"Unfortunately for some clubs, they don't make the Cup finals, so they don't get to experience what kind of a weekend it is, " said Australian Withers.
Steve Collins, an Australian broadcaster who runs the blog Grumpy's Getaway Guide, argues that he shouldn't have to put up with passengers who lean back and invade his personal space.
Ammerlaan and Kunieda, who won the men's doubles at the Australian Open in Melbourne earlier this year, took control in the decider and it wasn't long before they wrapped up victory.
"We gave it everything at the end but we just didn't have the pace, especially in the beginning with the hard tire, " the Australian said.
After opting to remain behind, he won permission to settle there, with Australian immigration officials telling him, "You can stay, but behave--and don't get drunk, " Stehr says.
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