Some are simple enough: foreigners' cars are numbered from 001, which means you are British, to 157 if you are Paraguayan.
If you are British or American, you will have to imagine David Dimbleby or David Letterman stepping down from the screen to sort the country out.
After all this, if you are worrying that British banks don't look as robust as you might like, I would direct your attention to Thursday's publication of how much capital Spanish banks may need to raise, as per the assessment of consultants hired by Spain's government.
Combined with the Jungle Book suite of animals and the bamboo lodges, with their sprawling gardens and troops of monkeys, they make you feel as if you are stepping back into the British Raj.
FORBES: Off the Beaten Track: Kaziranga National Park, India
And when you are certain that you know your way around the nooks and crannies of the British establishment, how tireseome to have to learn a new and complicated game in Brussels.
Instead I want to know whether you are a European Unionist or a British, Irish or indeed other kind of nationalist.
Casualties are few, unless you're like British novelist Marcel Theroux.
"There are a number of candidates who you'd have no qualms about leading the British and Irish Lions and there are probably even a few candidates who don't lead their international sides who could also do a good job, " Hill added.
Maybe you will decide that British universities are better than given credit for.
That's the right strategy, says Donna Quadri, a professor of hospitality and tourism at NYU. She said touches like slippers for Asian travellers or tea for British visitors are nice, but you don't want to be something you're not.
What fewer people know is that if you are looking for the real progressive force in British politics today it is the Green party.
We will fight obviously to ensure that the right to remain innocent until you are proved guilty is a fundamental right that is a cornerstone of British justice, and the defence lawyer's job will be to absolutely ensure that that is the case.
Those of you who follow this column are always keen to hear the latest news on the British spaceplane concept, and the most recent development strikes me as being a key moment in what will be a critical few months.
You only have to go to Pakistan and see how uncomfortable people who are British, who have returned home to their families in Pakistan, but are second or third generation immigrants, and arrive in Pakistan and do not feel they fit there.
Lovers of standard British costume dramas ("Downton Abbey" fans, you know who you are) shouldn't be put off, he added.
It tells you something of the mood in Brussels that there are already discussions on how to circumvent a British veto.
To lose your right to freedom and face years of incarceration for something of which you are innocent because the courts have chosen to exclude sound expert evidence on memory is a travesty of British justice.
Nor, if you look at the guidelines for setting Libor on the British Bankers' Association (BBA) website, are they required to.
Of course, there are the evidently wealthy local Arabs in their traditional white flowing robes, but you also can spot the Filipino maids, British bankers, American and Korean engineers and a diverse array of Indians all shopping, eating and conversing in the air-cooled commercial oasis.
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