"Thirty percent of our clients tend to be men, " explained Behare Sahatqija, my esthetician, as she lowered the headrest so that I was almost prone and virtually helpless.

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The Thunder is the league's most athletic team, and yet it was helpless: After almost 10 minutes of this domination, it resorted to a variant of the old hack-a-Shaq tactic, repeatedly fouling the Spurs' Tiago Splitter (a shaky free-throw shooter) to slow the game down.

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He did so out of sheer nervousness, a kind of helpless hilarity, like that of an almost ruined gambler at the blackjack table, risking everything on the turn of a card.

NEWYORKER: Mr. Bones