You might imagine that a 13-year-old girl would talk about emotive things like dolphins and rainbows, and talk in pink generics such as "making the world a better place".

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"A lot of students do things that would absolutely appall their parents, " one girl said, including drinking and smoking.

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"Only a decade ago, a parent would have probably answered 'stop saying silly things' to a 6-year-old son who insisted on being a girl, " Malpas added.

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Things actually seemed to be going pretty good for me, a man named DeWitt sent to Columbia to retrieve a girl to settle some old debts.

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Hunting for a girlfriend, he vents his frustration over not being able to make his moves on a Danish girl he goes out with because he has been "brought up in a culture when such things are always done in the dark".

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