“几天前，我在飞机上听到身边两个外国人的对话,”蒋方舟说，“他们热火朝天地谈论着中国乞丐的数量以及中国人如何占“小便宜”。
“A few days ago I overheard a conversation between two foreigners sitting next to me on a flight,” says Jiang. “They were having a heated discussion about the number of beggars in China.
打扰一下，我认为潜水侠会用他的心灵感应能力，让鱼儿在别的地方大小便。嗨，宝贝。
Excuse me, I believe aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere. Hey, babe.
那人黑身打扮，头戴无边小便帽，我就知道这里面有名堂，在热带地区不会带这种帽子。
He was dressed in black and he had a beanie on, I knew this was something, you don't wear beanies in the tropics.
我需要在这里稍作解释下，我一直是个抑郁悲观的人，我认为人生就好像在漆黑的冬夜在雪地里小便，你或许能做些许变化，但真的很难预言。
I had always been kind of a morose and pessimistic guy. I feel that life is like peeing into the snow in a dark winter night. You probably made a difference, but it's really hard to tell.
我现在能够释放我的小便而且在它停止之前，我能够持续更长的时间。
I can now release the bladder and have a longer flow of urine before the bladder ceases.
我在听闻此传言后，第一反应是翻遍钱包的现金，第二反应是电话告知好友，十足就是爱占小便宜的买菜顺带两根葱的主妇。
My first reaction on hearing this was examining every note at my wallet and secondly inform friends by phone. What a greedy woman I am as a housewife asking for more scallion FOC at the food market!
到处都是碎玻璃，人们在楼梯上小便，你知道他们并不在意，可我受不了这里的味道，我受不了这里的噪音。但我没有钱搬出这里，我想我除了忍受以外别无选择。
Broken glass everywhere, People pissing on the stairs, you know they just don't care, I can't take the smell, I can't take the noise, got no money to move out, I guess I got no choice.
今天在一个派对上我跟我三个朋友找乐子往一个罐子里小便。
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug.
我在那里呆了一个小时，宝宝在一个小时之内小便了三次，大便了两次，吃奶一次，新妈妈新爸爸忙成一团。
I bought a electric cradle for present to the little baby. Enduring the one hour's staying, the little baby had three pees, two stools and eat once, the new parents are busy.
我要小便，但瑞秋在洗手间里！
我不是一个男人，所以我真不知道你们这些家伙在小便池同一个地方如何能舒服撒尿和洗手的！
I'm not a man so I really don't know how comfortable you guys are going to be with this thought... peeing and washing hands in the same urinal stand!
我不是一个男人，所以我真不知道你们这些家伙在小便池同一个地方如何能舒服撒尿和洗手的！
I'm not a man so I really don't know how comfortable you guys are going to be with this thought... peeing and washing hands in the same urinal stand!
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