此外，确定你希望改变的让你不舒服或痛苦的东西是一回事，而坐下来空抱怨却是另一回事。
It is one thing to identify something uncomfortable or painful you wish to change, and another to sit and complain about it and do nothing.
发泄怒火和抱怨是两回事，抱怨的含义更多在于表达某种担忧，而最终目的是想做出改变或解决问题。
Venting is different than complaining, which means voicing a concern with the goal of changing something or addressing the cause of the problem.
听者的防御性体现为无视或立即反驳配偶的抱怨，将配偶的抱怨看做一种攻击而非尝试改变行为的举措。
Defensiveness in a listener takes the form of of ignoring or immediately rebutting the spouse's complaint, reacting to it as though it were an attack rather than an attempt to change behavior.
应用推荐