In some cases, it was years after their child's death that parents learned organs had been kept and many families held multiple funerals as lungs, brains, hearts and other organs were returned to them.
Year upon year of slowing down the action in their heads, of training their brains to take the emotion out of the multiple thousands of split-second decisions they make every time they get in the car, tends to lend them a languid air when not in action.