一到中年，就有许多不愉快的现象，眼睛昏花了，记忆力减退了，头发开始秃脱而且变白了，意兴，体力甚麽都不如年青的时候，常不禁会感觉到难以名言的寂寞的情味，尤其觉得难堪的是知友的逐渐减少和疏远，缺乏交际上的温暖的慰藉。

Especially when I realized the gradual decline of the number of friends the farther I am away from them, I lack the comfort delivered by the warmth of communication.

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作为记忆的疏远和图像褪色，和他即将自杀回来，成为焦点，考德威尔发现自己凝视到旋转的黑洞，这是他的抑郁症。

As the memories drifted away and the images faded, and his impending suicide came back into focus, Caldwell found himself staring into the swirling black hole that was his depression.

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