To my patient's surprise, simply stumbling across the idea that he could comfort himself seemed to grant him the power to do it. He sat down one morning, grasped hold of a vision of his larger self, a supremely forgiving, compassionate, and wise self, and turned it on the part of himself that was afraid and needed to be told everything would be okay. Out loud, he spoke gently and lovingly to himself, let himself acknowledge that what was happening was awful, that he hadn't failed as a parent, and that he cared that he was suffering so. And somehow, it worked. In fact, he reported not only feeling better but also ridding himself of the resentment he felt toward his wife for not comforting him in the way he wanted.

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