True forgiveness is willingness to let go of judgments and see the situation differently. It has to do with experiencing love and joy instead of fear and hate, says Dr. Sylvest.
Sylvest博士说，真正的宽恕是愿意放弃审判，用不同的看法去对待，用爱和喜悦代替恐惧和仇恨去感化。
But forgetting without forgiveness doe not work, says Dr. Sylvest. "When we repress negative memories and feelings, they may have to be remembered so that we can know how to reach forgiveness.
Sylvest博士指出，不带原谅的遗忘也是不行的，”当我们压抑自己消极的记忆和感受时，我们可能需要去记住它才可以知道如何去原谅。
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