我一直在试图拒绝她的爱,连碰碰她的手都觉得不合适,仿佛那是一种纵容,是对死亡的大不敬。
I had been trying to deny myself even the touch of her hand, assuming that affection was inappropriate, an indulgence, an irreverence in the face of death.
youdao
无论我做什么,我都觉得不合适。
No matter what I did, I just didn't belong.
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