The workings of most chips are governed by a clock and the data processing they do advances with each tick of that time-keeper.
Cheeky and immensely likeable, a natural striker and pin-up material, possibly the worst time-keeper - with the possible exception of Martin O'Neill - I have ever met in the Scottish game: East Kilbride's finest is all of these.
To balance their domestic budget, his wife, Barbara, took a part-time job as a book-keeper and let a room in their flat.
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Shels, with their numerical advantage, peppered the Derry goal in the second period of extra-time with replacement keeper Jennings saving from Ollie Cahill and Jason Byrne also going close for the Dubliners.
He could have netted his hat-trick just before half-time but the Falkirk keeper pushed his drive over the bar.
And Wood was denied by another terrific Kenny save - this time the veteran keeper scrambling across his goal to turn the defender's downward header away for a corner.
England almost got the second goal their domination merited on the stroke of half-time when Rooney rounded Swiss keeper Diego Benaglio, only for Stephane Grichting to deny Defoe with a crucial clearance at the far post.
Bishop scored in bizarre fashion just after half-time when Alan Gow's free-kick deflected off his backside and into Addicks keeper Rob Elliot's net.
The wait for the opening goal to level up the tie was not a long one, however, as a spirited Ronaldo surged down the left flank and surprised Lloris with a first time left-footed shot that went through the keeper's legs, his seventh goal in six Champions League matches this season.
Westwood was finally beaten when a long-diagonal free-kick deep into stoppage time fell to Freedman and the Leeds forward put a close-range shot through the keeper's legs.
As Hamilton pressed for an equaliser Smith did well to block Mark McLaughlin's close-range volley from Lyle's free-kick and, as half-time approached, Shaun Hutchinson cleared the ball off the goal-line after Lyle had chipped the keeper.
The hosts led when an incisive counter-attack saw Nugent race on to a glorious first-time Gelson Fernandes pass and slot home past keeper Frank Fielding.
Kyle Walker's backheader to Brad Friedel was nowhere near strong enough and fell into the path of Beckford, whose first-time shot was pushed behind by the American keeper.
Danny Grainger's 20-yard free-kick forced United keeper Dusan Pernis into a save in the build-up to half-time, then Morais blasted a decent ball over the bar following a goalmouth scramble.
Gayle was unable to open after missing a large period of time in the field with a hamstring injury so wicket-keeper Denesh Ramdin deputised alongside Daren Ganga.
Brad Haddin took over from regular Australia wicket-keeper Adam Gilchrist, who is taking time off for family reasons, and opened the batting but was caught in the deep of Nehra for five.
As half-time approached, Peter McDonald looped a header towards Celtic keeper Fraser Forster that cleared the bar, then a Grainger corner failed to test the visitors' defence.
With half-time approaching, Ismael Bouzid fluffed a header with Accies keeper Cerny flapping and passed up an opportunity to give Hearts a comfortable lead at the interval.
It was the last clear chance in normal time, and Downing tested Kenny six minutes into extra time as he forced him to save with his feet - the keeper recovering to save well from Tuncay at his near post.
Newry keeper Andy Coleman denied Ryan McIlmoyle after half-time before substitute Andy Graham struck the home team's second goal on 74 minutes.
And Celtic were in front by half-time as Rennes failed to cope with a long ball from keeper Fraser Forster.
Bent might have won the game for Spurs just before the match went to extra-time when his header was expertly tipped over by the PSV keeper.
And it was Henry who got his second of the match on the stroke of half-time. with his shot beating Giles, although the 'keeper should have done better.
BBC: SPORT | Football | Non League | County loss ends play-off hopes
Goodwillie latched on to a loose ball following a goalmouth scramble and slammed the ball off the underside of the bar to open the scoring for Dundee United on the stroke of half-time, although, there appeared to be a foul on keeper Smith beforehand.
It quickly got even better for Spurs as Roberto Rosales was rightly punished for bringing down Bale and, this time, Pavlyuchenko stepped up to take the spot-kick and send the keeper the wrong way.
Big-hitting South African keeper Mark Boucher, batting for the first time in the tournament, also fell cheaply.
Eddie Johnson was then denied the final chance of the game when his right-foot volley was blocked by keeper Carl Ikeme deep into injury time.
Warner, a former Leeds keeper, tipped an Amdy Faye header away moments before half-time and, after the break, Leeds' Neil Kilkenny drove over the bar.
He had already badly miscued an effort wide from a Liam Ridgewell cross and then seen Gordon save well with a foot after he had run clear on goal before once again finding himself with only the keeper to beat but this time finding a finish of quality to side-foot inside the far post.
He slotted through the legs of keeper Petr Cech for an unlikely equaliser on the stroke of half-time.
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