If you are going self-service, follow this up with a loofah-and-soap rub-down and douse yourself with water from the marble basins.

BBC: A guide to Istanbul��s bath houses

People generally seem happy to rub along though a test of that is thrown up by another rule: that everyone - however fond of their own home dishes - has to eat together in a communal canteen.

BBC: So remote, it could pass for Mars