Mordred cared only for his Dad, and whatever bites of food he could snag from the tabletop.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

While Mordred had labored and wobbled and leaked, he had still managed to find some moments of peace.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

Some dogs -- like Mordred's little companion Morgane the whippet -- give away their full and sloppy hearts as a matter of course.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

The shot went in, and the thing that made him Mordred simply drained out, leaving a giant, wasted husk of a dog on the floor, and I watched Morgane sniff it, trying to understand where her friend had gone.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

One lazy summer Sunday, with our dogs flanked around us on the couch, Douglas asked me to be his wife, and that very autumn, I walked down the aisle toward him with Mordred at my side, and my best friend holding Morgane in the front row.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

Through a small, saving grace, I had a boss who was a dog lover, himself, and did his best to accommodate my working from home sometimes so Mordred wouldn't have to be alone -- and because I was terrified of what we would come home to.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

But Mordred -- big, proud, poor Mordred -- he leaned against me the next day after losing control and wetting the carpet for the first time ever, and Douglas and I leaned onto each other, hard and sobbing, when we heard the word "tumor" the day after that.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog

Mordred was too weak to walk, so Douglas lifted him into the back of the Jeep for what we knew would be the final time, and we all gathered together on the cold linoleum of the vet's office as I bawled my heart out and Mordred laid his head on Douglas' lap, grateful for the comfort.

CNN: Lean on me: Loving and losing a dog