Early radio audiences panicked when Orson Welles dramatized a novel about Martians landing on earth.
Besides drinking it, you could use it to explain to Martians what icons are.
Whether your preferred variety of exceptionalism is religious, ethnic, or species-based, the Martians are here to tear it down.
"If in fact you do make contact with Martians, please let me know right away, " he said, receiving more laughter.
The narrator is kept apart from his wife for most of the action, and these Martians are definitely not the caressing kind.
This, the old man explained, was Mars, and the blue globes were the disembodied souls and intellects of Martians who had lived long ago.
But the media world is far more fragmented than in the days of the Smash Martians, and reaching consumers is that much more difficult.
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Somebody asked me the other day whether you've already found Martians. (Laughter.) I told them we have to give you a little bit of time.
What eventually makes the Martians' heads split is the agony of terrestrial pop music, and it is Tom Jones, not the Men in Black, who saves the world.
In it the Martians really are little green men who quack like ducks and sport craniums that are a cross between a skull and the Mekon of Mekonta arch-villain of the old Dan Dare comic strip.
Then it was as if an invisible yet intensely heated finger were drawn through the heather between me and the Martians, and all along a curving line beyond the sand pits the dark ground smoked and crackled.
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Rather than fight googly-eyed martians, however, you help spread life to the Red Planet, planting a variety of seeds which in turn grow a variety of plant-life, and awaken other forms of life, as you traverse the depths.
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