But on the biggest day of United's season the 19-year-old Ronaldo found a suitable stage to put on display his considerable box of tricks.

BBC: Ronaldo was outstanding

So the grand bilateral bargain that the Dear Leader has long wanted aid, full recognition and security guarantees in return for giving up his box of nuclear tricks remains as remote as ever.

ECONOMIST: Banyan

The box should be available for under one hundred and fifty American dollars and includes a number of other tricks and treats.

FORBES: Costello: Steal This Record. Actually, Don't.